podcastwizard:

ideal ways for me to die

1. old age, peacefully in my sleep

2. after a long and illustrious career i am at a rooftop gala hosted in my honor. i am wearing a beautiful gown, holding a glass of red wine, standing by the railing. a scorned lover approaches and, after a passionate spat, they push me over the edge of the building. the wine glass goes flying, splattering their outfit in red as a visual metaphor for the blood on their hands. as i descend my gown flies around me like two beautiful wings, a bird in flight. a photographer on the street manages to take a photo before i hit the ground and that photo wins the pulitzer. a new york times think piece is released regarding whether or not it’s moral to profit off a photo of someone’s death. the think piece also wins a pulitzer.

3. sex accident.

rocktavian:

civvic:

ENOUGH ABOUT BOOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FUCKING COMET IS COMING

switchelsweets:

themythicalcodfish:

pikestaff:

“Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they’re 15” this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit

To wit:

I want to share some wisdom from my high school art teacher.

In my AP Art class, there was a girl who was just starting to experiment with mixed media. At this point she was still playing around, trying to decide what direction she wanted to go with her portfolio. So one critique day, she brought in an abstract canvas with some rhinestone highlights and painted and real peacock feathers. She loved sparkles and peacock feathers so she thought she’d try introducing them a *little*. And after everyone had given some input, the teacher gave her his advice, VERY roughly paraphrased here:

“So here’s the thing… I do not like this style. These are just elements that do not speak to me personally, but I see that you like them, and you’re doing interesting things with them.

“My biggest critique is, I only merely *dislike* this piece. I want you to make me HATE it. Go crazy with the things that you like. Don’t hold back trying to make it palatable to people like me. Because I am NEVER going to like it. And if the audience does not like it, it should drive them crazy seeing how much YOU love it.”

Her portfolio was chock full of neon colors and glitter and rhinestones and splashes of peacock feathers and it was a delight. Our teacher despised every piece lol, but she got great marks and I think even won some awards. And more importantly, she was happy and proud of the results. Because she didn’t limit herself by trying to appeal to people who were never going to enjoy what she enjoyed.

Takeaway here: be as cringe as you want. Don’t limit yourself based on other ppl’s tastes. They’re not you, and you are incredible 💕

orphanedsource:

Does tumblr assume I’m a caveman? Recommended posts for Grugnar?

chips1977:

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

chips1977:

Does anyone wanan play ants with me?

OK can i be the crumb

FUCK no your the wet soil pile

roundo:

“Don’t rub your eyes it leads to wrinkles and eye bags!!” you live in a world where you feel guilt over even the most microscopic of life’s pleasures and I will never want to join you there

ashstfu:

i wish there were more than 24 hours in a day and beverages were $1 and growing up didn’t hurt so much

dykg:

dykg:

press Ⓧ to PENIS BLAST

something beautiful is happening

assiraphales:

petition that instead of making new lord of the rings films they should just re release the original trilogy in theaters. have world premieres. press tours and interviews with the cast. new lines of official merchandise. drop unseen content and behind the scenes footage. I promise we will all go ballistic